Happy Youth Olympics Games in Nanjing, China

Another epic song for the YOG, which started today in Nanjing, China.

I swear the international Olympics movement is so broke that they are foisting the burden of hosting all these games on China and Asia!

HAPPY SIXTH ANNIVERSARY OF THE BEIJING OLYMPICS

SIX YEARS AGO TODAY, MY LIFE WAS SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!

Dongjing ("Tokyo") Wins Bid for 2020 Olympic Games

Jonathan Fairbank, who is vacationing in Buenos Aires, Argentina, just phoned to report that the IOC has only minutes ago chosen Dongjing ("Tokyo," Japan) to host the Summer Olympic Games in 2020...

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, hosts the 2016 Games.

THANK YOU BEIJING FOR THE GREATEST OLYMPICS EVER! NOW PLEASE RELEASE THE POLITICAL PRISONERS.

Update: He Did It! Michael "Zeus" Phelps is 8 for 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Step Aside Ian Thorpe, Zeus is in the House

Phelps perhaps the greatest

By Jeff Schultz | Saturday, August 16, 2008, 05:59 PM

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Beijing — It speaks to an athlete’s dominance when people cease comparing him to others in his era. It speaks to Michael Phelps’ rare dominance that the debate has left the pool. And the century.

Is he better than Jesse Owens, who won four gold medals in Berlin with Adolf Hitler watching?

Has he surpassed Carl Lewis, who equaled Owens’ four golds in Los Angeles, then won five more in the next three Olympics?

Do we reach back to a Soviet gymnast, Larissa Latynina, from the 1950s? A Finnish distance runner, Paavo Nurmi, from the ’20s? Nadia Comaneci, who was so otherworldly in Montreal that gymnastics scoreboards in ‘76 weren’t even equipped to post her perfect 10s, leaving fans perplexed over judges giving her only a “1.0” on floor exercise?

If Michael Phelps isn’t the greatest Olympian of all-time, he is at least in the argument.

If bling is the determining factor, it’s no contest. Phelps swam to seven gold medals in his first seven events, tying the record of Mark Spitz. He went for eight in the 4x100 medley relay this morning in Beijing.

Phelps’ two-Olympic resume now stands at 15 medals including relays (13 gold, two bronze), nine individual golds, eighth world records and four Olympic marks.

There is dominance. Then there is mind-numbing.

It’s like watching somebody open a laptop computer during the Stone Age.

“The problem,” said FINA executive director Cornel Marculescu, “is we have an extraterrestrial.”

We will forever remember Phelps not merely for his medals but how he got there. He swam the 200-meter butterfly in world-record time despite being partially blinded most of the race, his goggles filled with water. He won his seventh gold in the 100 butterfly, despite making the turn at 50 meters in seventh place. Serbia’s Milorad Cavic appeared to be out front as the two closed on the wall. But Phelps reached out with one of those long limbs of his and touched first.

The goggles. The reach. That special trait elite athletes have in finding ways to motivate themselves, even when sheer ability is good enough. Before the 100 butterfly, Phelps’ coach, Bob Bowman, told him of a Cavic quote in which the Serb declared: “It would be good for the sport if he loses. It would be good for him if he loses.” That’s all Phelps needed to hear.

Cavic swam a great race. He’s just not terribly bright. What could be better for a sport than having a superstar? What could be better for Phelps?

“Some people said [Spitz’s record] would be impossible to duplicate and that it wouldn’t happen,” he said. “It shows really that anything can happen. [Bowman] is the one who really helped me want to dream about anything. He’s the one who said, ‘Dream as big as you can.’ “

He wanted to change swimming. Check. A friend sent him text messages after the 100 butterfly about seeing the race live — on a JumboTron at a baseball game.

He wanted to change a sport. Instead he changed the argument.

Phelps vs. Spitz? It’s over.

Phelps vs. Owens? Phelps has the numbers. But Owens faced pressures we can’t possible imagine. He won events in two disciplines, running and long jump, whereas Phelps only swims.

Phelps vs. Lewis? Phelps surpassed him in gold medals. (Lewis won nine). But Lewis ran and jumped and competed in four Games. Then again, he didn’t take a daily sledgehammer to the record books. Phelps has done that.

Phelps vs. anybody from decades long ago? There are more competing nations today. But isn’t that true in every sport? Do we throw Willie Mays and Hank Aaron and Babe Ruth out of baseball arguments because Barry Bonds faces more and better pitchers?

Nobody has ever dominated his sport like Phelps. But the talent pool is deeper in track than swimming. More athletes from more places.

He is fast — faster than we’ve ever seen and possibly ever will see. But sprints and jumps and long-distance running is so much harder on the body than swimming. Consider: Swimming is used to help runners rehab runners from injuries, not the other way around.

Greatest Olympian ever? The argument can’t be won. At least not yet.

“I’m sure,” Phelps said, “Bob and I can think of some other goals in the next four years.”

Christ Child and Yao Ming Led Chinese Delegation into the Olympic Stadium to Rousing Applause and Wild Excitement!!!!

A small Sichuanese boy named Lin Hao, who risked his own life to save his classmates after the deadly May 2008 earthquake in Sichuan Province, China, led the Chinese Olympic delegation into the Beijing Olympic Stadium on Friday evening (8/8/08). He was accompanied by the delegation flag bearer Yao Ming, an NBA star athlete.

Jonathan Fairbank, editor of this Fairbank Report and Chairman of the Fairbank Group, has referred to Lin Hao as the Christ Child.

BEIJING OLYMPICS: GREATEST OPENING ACT EVER! CHINESE OLYMPIAN LI NING SOARED 2200 FEET IN AIR TO LIGHT THE OLYMPIC FLAME... MORE...

photo source: http://en.beijing2008.cn/photo/ceremonies/


Mayor of London, England (host of the 2012 Games) collapsed from sheer fright of the task to match the Chinese opening ceremony...

dé·clas·sé hill billies

Thousands of ordinary visitors come to Beijing every year without donning (poorly designed and poorly constructed) face masks.

Millions of ordinary Beijingers go about their daily business without donning face masks.

Four American putative athletes wore their poorly designed and shabbily constructed (made in Alabama!) face masks as they arrived at the high-tech Beijing International Airport for the Olympics. We call them wussy prima donnas.

On the other hand, we forgive them as this was the first time these hill billies have actually set foot on an ultra-modern metropolis.

ONE WORLD, ONE DREAM, ONE HOTT CHICK!

8:00 PM on 08/08/08

One World One Dream One China

To the chagrin of my editor, I am posting the following Mao-esque entry:

To all splittist elements in the Xizang Autonomous Region ("Tibet"), Xinjiang Autonomous Region and Taiwan Province, remember: It's One World, One Dream, One China.

Happy Olympics -- Bian-lian Huang.

The Beijing Olympic Games: 49 Days to Go

We can't wait! The Chinese will put on a show and a Game that will simply dazzle the world. China has awakened! Qi lai!

Hott Chinese Chicks (in honour of the Beijing Games)

"Evelyn"

"Precious Dawn"

"Apple Dumpling"

In honour of the Beijing Games, we are presenting hott Chinese Chicks Day. Which is the hottest?

Don't Mess with China's Nationalism

This story reminds me of the old zinger Trent Lott used to tell: "The only things in the middle of road are road kills and moderates."

From: http://www.danwei.org/internet/grace_wang.php

On April 9, 2008 at Duke University in Durham, North Carolina, two high-profile student 'protests' for and against Tibetan independence took place. Grace Wang (Wang Qianyuan 王千源), a 21 year old girl from Qingdao, Shandong, joined in the protest on the campus. Wang is a student at Duke University.

To the shock of many Chinese students at Duke and also at home in China, Wang was protesting for some kind of middle-ground between the foreign pro-Tibetan independence group and the Chinese anti-Tibetan independence group. She wrote ‘Free Tibet’ on the back of a student and also communicated with the Chinese side in Chinese.

In videos of the so-called ‘protests’ (see links at bottom of article), Wang makes a public speech in English, facing the Chinese students, and with the non-Chinese students behind her. Her comments include, “Just because I am Chinese does not mean that I can't think for myself."

On forum websites such as Han Wang and Tianya, photos of Wang as a schoolgirl in Shandong have appeared, along with Chinese netizens’ defamatory comments. Their comments range from "race-traitor" (汉奸) to "she can only marry one of the lamas now" (他现在只能嫁给喇嘛了).

In the last few days a pot of human faeces was emptied outside the door of Wang’s parents flat in Qingdao.

Global Voices Online has transcribed a letter from a friend of Wang's at Duke, dated April 15, stating that her parents' residence in Qingdao has been attacked by rocks, and that they are in hiding.

Certain netizens expressed doubt as to whether Wang's motive was to support Tibetan independence, instead saying it was more akin to self-promotion. Some commentators asked why she did not speak in Chinese when she was making the public statement on the Duke campus on April 9 (instead, using "broken English"), saying that her purpose was to show off to foreign students, as well as foreign media, such as NPR (who supposedly interviewed her there).

There was some support of Wang though: one comment on Tianya read, "Good classmate Wang, unfortunately I'm on the Mainland so I can only support you in spirit." And from the Han Wang BBS: “She has the freedom to express her own views, her choice to support Dalai is a demand for democratic rights. How could you cover her doorstep with a pot of faeces – using this kind of rough and uncivilized method to object?"

Wang’s phone number and address in the US was revealed online, as was her parents’ address in Shandong. The FBI are said to be involved after Wang has received online and offline threats.

Wang wrote an email to the Duke Chinese Students and Scholars Association on the day of the April 9 protest, and has since participated in discussions about it on campus. In her e-mail, Wang quotes ancient Chinese sages Sunzi (孙子) and Laozi (老子), and argues for the focus to be on mutual understanding. She tells her Chinese compatriots not to act rashly. “Take away your anger, and your heads will become clear, your minds will become sharper, and then your judgments correct” (消除怒气，头脑才会清晰，思维才能敏捷，决断才会正确).

Today The New York Times published an article by Shaila Dewan about Wang, who met the Chinese student at Duke. It seems that Wang is still in a state of excitement. Dewan writes at the close of the article, “for a woman under threat of dismemberment [netizens have threatened to tear her to pieces if she returns to the mainland], she seemed remarkably sanguine – even upbeat.”

Also today, the front page of the CCTV website showed a picture of Wang, together with a video of the protest and the caption “Most hideous Chinese student abroad” (最丑陋留学生).

HEROINE Torch Bearer Jin Jing Fought off Fat Fascist in Paris

Paris, France-- While fat and lazy French gendarme looked on helplessly, Chinese heroine Jin Jing single handedly fought off a fascistic pig who tried to put out the Olympics torch. Jin Jing, who is handi-capable, resisted her attacker with one hand and saved the torch with the other!

Hooray!

PARTY POOPER!

This putative prince of peace rallies his sizable troops to disturb the historic Beijing Games -- with deadly results -- all in the name of peace and goodwill. Isn't he wonderful?

China's Disquieting Summer

By Jonathan Fairbank

When in 2001 the Beijing Olympics Committee won the right to host the 2008 Olympic Games, the Chinese government was so overjoyed that it launched several days and nights of public partying. Members of the government would spare no expense to stage the greatest, the most spectacular and the most awe-inspiring Games ever – one befitting a nascent superpower. And they shall. Such is the power of China’s ruthless (but admirable) efficiency.

In the mists of glorious dreams and glittering fantasies, the old men in charge forgot that with the Olympics come the world’s mass media, cell-phone journalists and bloggers. Such a magnetic media presence will undoubtedly invite mischief.

As the winter ice began to thaw and spring flowers started to bud, a well choreographed “uprising” took place in Llasa, the capital of the Tibet National Autonomous Area. Robed monks reportedly stoned Chinese soldiers and civilians alike, and the People’s Liberation Army (PLA) responded with gunfire. Fatalities – perhaps as high as 100 – have been widely reported.

And it is not even Spring yet.

Other areas of China – particularly the so-called National Autonomous Areas consisting mainly of China’s non-Han minorities – will erupt in similarly choreographed rebellions in the Spring and Summer leading to the magical hours of 8.08.08, the start of the Beijing Olympic Games. The provinces of Xinjiang in the extreme northwest and Ningxia in the west central region are most vulnerable.

No doubt the reliable services of China’s two million-man PLA will be used to quell the uprisings, and the world’s glaring media will dutifully gasp, point and scream at the cadre of bespectacled fogies in cheap suits residing in Zhongnanhai.

Little will these gawking media types realize that it is they who invite – and in some instances trigger -- the mischievous riots, which have and will result in deadly responses from the PLA.