BREAKING: FAIRBANK REPORT PROJECTS "NO" WIN IN SCOTTISH REFERENDUM!

IT IS 02.09 IN GREAT BRITAIN AS ELECTION OFFICIALS CONTINUE THE VOTE COUNT ON THE QUESTION OF SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE.

THE FAIRBANK REPORT IS PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT IT HAS CALLED THE ELECTION FOR THE "NO" SIDE.

BRITISH UNITY IS THEREFORE SECURE.  THE UNITED KINGDOM REMAINS UNITED -- FOR THE TIME BEING.

LIAR, LIAR; PANTS ON FIRE!

Hillary Evita "Madame Nhu" Clinton's assertion that she dodged bullets and mortar shells during a late 1990s trip to the Balkans has been proven untrue. No less of a dignitary than the legendary clown/comic Sinbad, who was on the trip with her (why?), has publicly stated that the only thing they dodged were bad food and cheap liquor.