In another life, you'd be my girl

Dedicated to the ones that got away:

Daisy, YHC, Rosie P., Annie, R. Hiro., the Malaysian-Chinese chick in g school and the Japanese chick in g school.

the economics of love

Reprinted with permission from Michael Henchard.

May 15, 2004


My friends don’t ever stop trying to set me up. It’s like they can’t stand seeing me happily single.

Over the weekend, I was introduced to a drop-dead gorgeous girl by naively officious friends. The woman is waay out of my league. She has the face and curves of an A&F model, and I have a face for radio.

So I have been thinking, which is always a bit dangerous. Why is a beautiful girl like her still single? The Efficient Market Theory (EMT) says that she should have been taken off the dating/marriage market by some millionaires or hot jocks a long time ago.

What does the market know about Miss Gorgeous that I don’t? Either she’s extremely difficult to get along with, or she may have mental or (invisible) physical defects. The EMT is rarely wrong about market conditions, and believe you me, the dating/marriage market is as robust as it gets, even more so than the stock market…

SEXY!

To Grace C. from Lost in Emotions

How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I love thee purely, as they turn from praise. I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.

Tall Women and Short Men: Ladies, Get Over It!

CAN A TALL WOMAN FIND A SHORT MAN?
I'M A REALLY TALL WOMAN WHO OUGHT TO KNOW BETTER, BUT I STILL CAN'T CONNECT WITH SHORTER MEN

BY FRANCEY RUSSELL

He's amazing, I say. He's practically perfect. "And you're just friends?" asks Amy, incredulous. The reason we haven't taken our relationship to the next level feels a little superficial, but when I tell her, she has no problem understanding. The thing is, he's shorter.

The fact that I'm not dating this really wonderful guy because of his diminutive stature, and that my friend deemed that a valid reason, got me thinking about my knee-jerk resistance to dating small men.

Why do girls prefer bigger boyfriends? It's obvious that male domination still plays a role in making a 21st-century woman want to be more petite than her man. Traditionally, men are supposed to be stronger in every sense to protect the meek members of the "weaker sex." So the act of dating a shorter guy could be seen as bucking the status quo, if one wanted to go there.

I've dated short men. For whatever reason, none of the shorties worked out, but I doubt that the demise of any of those relationships had anything to do with my exceptional height.

The size thing only comes up once in a while when dating a wee man. Kissing standing up is good for a laugh. In heels, I clear these guys; for them, staring straight ahead means staring straight at my tits. Even holding hands feels a little weird and a lot like a mother leading her child, which I'm not into with guys I'm sleeping with. Fortunately, most of these problems disappear when you're both horizontal. Good sex is good sex is good sex. Height doesn't matter in bed.

A lesser man (I'm talking moral fibre here, not measurements) can't handle having a tall lady friend. The combination of smaller-than-average stature and lack of self-confidence makes some men feel threatened by tall women. They become brash and are prone to making cracks, continually observing, "Shit, you're really fucking tall!" Never does a man seem shorter than when he can't get over how tall you are.

When the traditional male-female order has been disrupted, it's no longer obvious who's physically stronger. For some guys, that's too much to deal with.

Luckily (hallelujah!), since graduating high school I've witnessed a steady decline in the number of sassy, insecure short boys. As boys grow into men, and as we accept less rigidly defined gender roles, the great height divide loses its significance.

Nine times out of 10, the media depicts a heterosexual couple as a tall man and a pocket-sized woman. We find it appealing when a man can whisk you away or tuck you under his arm. Even though we see statuesque women in the media, they're rarely shown towering over men. I'm always grateful to see an image of a guy tilting his chin upwards to kiss a girl – unless the image is played for laughs, .

I saw photos of Pharrell Williams (5-foot-7 tops) parading around New York with a tall filly. It was so sexy, it made me want a shorter (hot, stylish, music-producing) man tilting his chin up at me. For whatever reasons, seeing a version of yourself out there in the visual culture provides a sense of affirmation. And seeing lil' Pharrell's tall woman made me think about lowering my dating height requirements.

Actually, it made me think of my practically perfect tiny guy friend. From my perspective (up here in the trees with the giraffes), our respective sizes have been the only incompatible aspect of our relationship. Like a fence, it's kept us on just-friends terms. It's not like there isn't something there between us.

Sometimes, when I'm staring down into those big brown eyes, I think we could really be something. Maybe one of these days I'll jump the just-friends fence. I'll embrace all the quirks of being with a tiny man, like bending down to kiss him or having a boyfriend who is constantly at eye-level with my nipples. Mmmm. Doesn't sound too bad

NOW AUG 19 - 25, 2004 VOL. 23 NO. 51
http://www.nowtoronto.com/issues/2004-08-19/naked_city.php

jessie's girl

Jessie's girl...Lucky bastard

Music and lyrics by Rick Springfield
Emotions by Lost in Emotion

Jessie is a friend,
yeah, I know he's been
a good friend of mine
But lately something's changed
that ain't hard to define
Jessie's got himself a girl
and I want to make her mine
And she's watching him with those eyes
And she's lovin' him with that body,
I just know it
Yeah 'n' he's holding her
in his arms late,
late at night
You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
Where can I find a woman like that
I play along with the charade,
there doesn't seem to be
a reason to change
You know, I feel so dirty
when they start talking cute
I wanna tell her that I love her,
but the point is probably moot
'Cos she's watching him with those eyes
And she's lovin' him with that body,
I just know it
And he's holding her
in his arms late, late at night
Like Jessie's girl,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
Where can I find a woman,
where can I find a woman like that
And I'm lookin' in the mirror all the time,
wondering what she don't see in me
I've been funny,
I've been cool with the lines
Ain't that the way
love supposed to be
Tell me, where can I find a woman like that
(Solo)
You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
I want Jessie's girl,
where can I find a woman like that, like
Jessie's girl,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl,
I want,
I want Jessie's girl

To Fair Daisy

Dedicated to D from Lost in Emotions

By Nicholas Gordon

You don't love me, but ah! do I love you!
It kills me that right now you have another!
Each day I watch the antics of you two
Happy hopping birds and say, why bother?
But I am chained to you as fish to sea,
Or as the moon to Earth, or Earth to sun.
The thought of letting go so tortures me
That I would rather let my anguish run.
I know that if I wait you will be mine.
Such love as this must sweep all walls away!
I am your natural light, and I will shine
Till due rotation turns your night to day.
Until then, this sorrow will remain:
My hope of joy must be my source of pain.

daisies

By Lost in Emotion

I bring thee daisies because it is thy name sake.
Thy beauty is perfection: skin white and smooth as fresh milk;
Lips full and luscious and cherry red;
Body so curved as to epitomize the hour glass;
And bosoms so generous never seen before in thy race.

I am cursed as thou art fortunate.
I am wretched as thou art gleeful and carefree.
I am hideous as thou art fetching.
I am forlorn as thou art cheerful.
I am forsaken 'cause thy beau is embraced by thy arms...