Showing posts with label love story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love story. Show all posts

01 September 2014

Chronicle of a Death Foretold: Andrea De Cruz


Pierre Png and Andrea De Cruz, the Singaporean celebrity couple, who are best known for Pierre's donation of a portion of his liver to save her life in 2002, are now bravely facing the prospect of Andrea's dying in less than a decade.

From the New Paper
Monday, Apr 28, 2014
The New Paper
By Jocelyn Lee, Judith Tan
SINGAPORE - Even at 39 years old, local personality Andrea De Cruz has not stopped thinking about being a mother - and the fact that she may have only eight years left to live.

De Cruz, who has been married to local actor Pierre Png, 40, for 11 years, is unable to have her own children as she is on anti-rejection medication after a liver transplant in 2002.
The couple made headlines back then, when De Cruz suffered liver failure after taking slimming pills Slim 10 and Png, her then-fiancé, donated part of his liver to her.
The celebrity couple were guests at a Lux event to unveil its new collection earlier this month, where they talked about what keeps their relationship alive and renewing their wedding vows in church last year.
Speaking to The New Paper at an interview afterwards, the lovebirds appeared at ease and were candid about their marriage and even about a topic as morbid as her life expectancy.
De Cruz said: "Statistics show that my body might reject the liver after 20 years. It's been 12 years now, so we have eight more years to go. What if the statistics are true? What if I lose my liver eight years later? Do I want to have a kid and let Pierre raise him or her on his own after that?
"That's a big concern for us."

The couple have thought about adopting since 2010, but have shelved their plans due to time commitment and health reasons.
"We are very realistic and practical about it. We won't say, 'Let's not think about this issue' because there is a possibility that something might happen eight years later. So for now, our fur kids will do," said Png, referring to their three dogs.
- See more at: http://yourhealth.asiaone.com/content/andrea-de-cruz-maybe-only-having-8-years-left-live#sthash.GiIXulKc.dpuf

24 November 2013

So Sad :--( Life Imitating Art

From www.chinasmack.com




Husband and Wife Desiring Child Discovers They Are Brother and Sister, Wife’s Father and Husband’s Mother Were Lovers

In Jiangxi Province, a young married couple were always teased for “looking like each other”. Not long ago, the wife’s father suddenly spoke of a secret: it turns out that many years ago, he and the husband’s mother were secret lovers. Later on, the husband’s mother became pregnant, while the wife’s father fell in love and married someone else. On top of that, the husband’s mother has been dead for over 20 years, so this secret was almost buried forever, up until this young married couple decided to have a child…
In early November, the couple chose to go to the Furong Forensic Centre of the No. 2 Provincial People’s Hospital in Hunan in order to do a DNA test. The results dealt them a heavy blow.
As they prepared to start a family, the wife’s father revealed past events
Cao Wei and Xiao Qian (aliases) both grew up in the same city in Jiangxi Province. They lived near each other and had known each other since they were youngsters. Cao Wei is 4 years older than Xiao Qian and always looked after her the way a big brother would. Their relationship gradually began to change ever so subtlety, eventually becoming a romantic relationship.
Last year, they revealed to both their parents that they wanted to get married. Cao Wei’s mother had passed away when he was only 4 years old, and his father didn’t get very involved in the wedding. Xiao Qian’s mother thought the young man was quite nice, while her father, Bao Gen (alias) remained silent the entire time.
The young couple got a marriage certificate without any problems, and lived happily together. Other people often teased them, that they looked so similar, especially Cao Wei, who looked more and more like he could be Bao Gen’s son and Xiao Qian’s elder brother. Then this year, the couple decided to have a child. But here, Bao Gen suddenly revealed a deep secret.
20 years ago, Bao Gen was still only 18 years old and unmarried. Next door lived a young married woman in her twenties, whose husband was often away from home, and so Bao Gen frequently called by. Later on, this evolved into a physical relationship, which lasted for almost 2 years. Afterwards, the young woman became pregnant, and Bao Gen too found a girlfriend/wife.
As it turns out, the child she gave birth to was Cao Wei.
They find out they are brother and sister through DNA testing
Bao Gen says no one came to trouble him about the situation in the many years that has passed by since — he just pondered over it once in a while. In fact, he thought something was amiss early on, and when some of his old neighbours who were familiar with the romantic exploits of his youth happened to come round and make fun of the couple, he broke out in a sweat.
Although he realised that Cao Wei might be a blood relative, he wasn’t brave enough to stop the marriage between the two youngsters, nor was he brave enough to bring the events of 20 years ago out in the open, so he chose to remain silent.
In fact, Xiao Qian also had her suspicions, and therefore specifically asked a distant relative to seek confirmation from her father. The truth left her stunned – could it really be that the husband she’s been living with for nearly two years now is actually her elder half-brother? In the future, what would happen if they had children?
The young couple decided to do a paternity test. In early November, after taking blood samples from Cao Wei and Bao Gen at the Furong Forensic Centre of the No. 2 Provincial People’s Hospital, they carried out a DNA test. The results came out very quickly: the probability that they were blood relatives was over 99.9% and, according to international practice, this supported the fact that a biological father-son relationship existed between them. This meant that Cao Wei and Xiao Qian were brother and sister.
On November 20th, legal medical expert and head of the material evidence examination room at the Forensic Centre, Dr Huang Jian, said it was currently unknown how Cao Wei and Xiao Qian would deal with their marriage. She believes that Bao Gen’s irresponsibility not only thoroughly discredits him, but has also deeply hurt his children.
Data
Furong Forensic Centre of the No. 2 Provincial People’s Hospital
Strong>Paternity tests increasing by 20% and more each year
A member of staff at the Furong Forensic Centre of the No. 2 Provincial People’s Hospital explained that the main types of people that come in for paternity tests are: husbands who are suspicious that the child isn’t biologically theirs, divorced couples who, after doing a paternity test, can guarantee that the child they will be supporting is biologically theirs, pregnant ladies who perhaps had extra marital affairs and therefore can’t determine who the baby’s father is (in particular, cases of testing amniotic fluid during pregnancy are increasingly common), couples who used a surrogate mother who want to check the child is in fact biologically theirs, immigrants who want official documents proving that their children are biologically theirs, or those that need scientific evidence for inheritance laws or other legal disputes…
Why are more and more people walking through the doors of forensic testing centres? Staff believe that at the moment, many people’s incomes are rising, the number of social services are increasing, and the costs are also decreasing. On top of that, cases of extra-marital affairs and one night stands, etc. are more frequent than in the past, and the number of children born out of wedlock is relatively high, plus the feeling of trust between husband and wife is gradually fading away. Each year, the number of these types of tests is 20% or more greater than the year before, and that’s in Furong Forensic Centre of the No. 2 Provincial People’s Hospital alone.
Comments from NetEase:
网易山西省晋中市手机网友(183.187.*.*):
In the future, my son will have to do DNA tests before getting a girlfriend.
穷天极地 [网易广东省广州市手机网友]: (responding to above)
The test will say they’re brother and sister, and the daddy isn’t you.
网易北京市手机网友 ip:124.64.*.:
May all lovers in the world be siblings.
网易四川省眉山市网友 ip:112.192.*.:
DNA tests really are useful.
网易上海市手机网友 ip:140.207.*.*:
What a sin, there is karma for everything in this world [every action has a consequence].
网易山西省大同市手机网友 ip:218.26.*.:
Faint.
晨羲载曜 [网易广东省广州市网友]:
Actually, close relatives marrying merely increases the probability of the child having hereditary diseases, it doesn’t necessarily result in hereditary diseases. If the members of the family itself have no pathogenic genes, then it’s not a big problem. Albert Einstein’s parents were close relatives.
寂寞其实也是一种享受 [网易上海市网友]:
Some senior official’s daughter went off travelling, suddenly she discovered a girl who looked extremely similar to her, so stepped forward and asked her: Hey, was your mum a servant in this senior official’s house? The girl replied: my mum has never left the village, but actually my dad was that official’s bodyguard.
网易广东省东莞市手机网友 ip:183.23.*.*:
A piece of fake news…
网易浙江省杭州市手机网友 ip:183.157.*.
I heard in the past that close relatives can’t get married, that if they got married and had children then the children wouldn’t survive, or they would be deformed!
网易黑龙江省哈尔滨市网友 ip:221.208.*.:
If this type of situation is more and more common in China in the future, will the quality of our race decline?
网易吉林省手机网友 ip:36.48.*.*:
This type of thing happens more often in the south, because there’s a lot of [marriage between close relatives] in the south, especially Guangdong.
网易北京市手机网友 ip:114.66.*.*
When I read the second half, I felt like it was an advert for the Furong Forensic Centre.
Image: For illustration only, not related to individuals in article.

29 December 2010

a match made in heaven?

Via www.chinasmack.com


From Chongqing Evening News:

In order to improve their situation through unity, Wanzhou 16-year-old young girl marries 34-year-old “uncle”

Young Girl:

He is steady with the motorcycle, and because he lives close by, we can take care of both families

Matchmaker:

Both families are poor, so it would be better for them to unite into one family to help each other.

Women’s Federation:

If a wedding banquet is held, will communicate and educate them on the laws.

In Huangxian Village of Longju Town of Wanzhou District, 34-year-old unmarried Deng Changjiang and a 16-year-old young girl from the same village are engaged and cohabitating, and will hold a wedding banquet according to local custom at the end of the month. With regard to this, both state: It is completely voluntary/consensual. Both of them come from poor families, the matchmaker who coordinated this marriage said: “Both families are poor, so it would be better for them to unite into one family to help each other.”

The local Women’s Federation state that if they fell in love and marry of their own free will, they will not interfere. However, if the two of them want to hold a wedding banquet, after conducting an investigation and confirming [that it is consensual], they will communicate and educate both sides on “Marriage Law”, “Juvenile Protection Law”, “Women’s Rights Protection Law”, and similar laws and family planning policies.

Deng Changjiang and his cousin.

Deng Changjiang (left) and his family and friends all believe it is mutual love.

34-year-old single man

Dropped out of school after graduating primary school

Father deceased, mother blind. In a impoverished mountain valley, it is difficult to find a wife

Deng Changjiang, 34-years-old, lives in the second group of Huangxian Village of Longju Town. Longju Town is about 18 kilometers away from Deng’s home, which includes nearly 10 kilometers of the 318 national highway, around 5 kilometers of tractor road, around 4 kilometers of a newly excavated road for motorcycles only, and around 1 kilometer of fields.

From his home to the town, one has to first walk around 4 kilometers of mountain roads and climb over a garbage dump before reaching the village. When there is good weather and one can take a motorcycle for part of the distance, one can reach the town in half an hour. However, if one encounters rainy weather, one has to walk the entire path up the mountain, and going to the town will take at least two and a half hours.

In the past in this mountain valley, there were 10 families, but now most of them have relocated onto the mountain, into the town, or into the city. The most valuable thing in Deng Changjiang’s family is that motorcycle, worth over 6000 yuan. Because of a trade-in, he only had to spend over 2000 yuan, but this takes up one year’s worth of his income raising cattle.

Around 6pm the day before yesterday, when this reporter found Deng Changjiang’s home, he happened to be at the front washing sweet potatoes, a meal for two pigs. His family can produce two pigs and one cow each year.

“6 years ago, my father passed away, and my mother lost her sight due to cataracts and needs someone to take care of her, so how could I leave!” Deng Changjiang said. After graduating from elementary school, he dropped out. Previously, people have tried to match him with a wife, but the female side all felt that his home was difficult to reach, that his family’s situation was poor, and would not even give him a chance.

Wen Wen's mother and father.

Wen Wen's parents home is not far from Deng's home.

16-year-old young girl

Dropped out of school in 2nd grade

Mother sick, father weak. The farthest place she’s ever been to was the town

16-year-old young girl Wen Wen (pseudonym) and Deng Changjiang are neighbors in the same village, the two families can even shout and communicate with each other, but because few people have passed through, the village road long ago became overgrown with weeds half as tall as a person, so one must over 1 kilometer following a brook to go between the two homes. Wen Wen’s mother suffers from epilepsy and often has seizures, while her 50+ year old father Wen Benfu’s body is weak, making it difficult for him to work. Longju Town is the furthest place she has ever been to.

Wen Wen’s family of three’s main source of income is a government subsistence allowance [a kind of social security], and apart from this, raising pigs: “But next year’s subsistence allowance, I don’t know why but it has been canceled” Wen Benfu and his wife are together starting a fire to cook, saving the left over charcoal each day to carry into the town each month, each half kilogram worth 6 jiao [0.6 RMB], to exchange for some cooking oil, salt, and laundry detergent.

Huangxian Village once had a village elementary school, with the sounds of children attending class. The village elementary school used to be near Deng’s Changjiang’s home. Back then, Wen Wen attended school at that village elementary school, but she did not like studying, and wouldn’t go even if her father hit her with a stick. She dropped out just after finishing second grade.

After dropping out, Wen Wen still liked to go play near the school, and Deng Changjiang’s place was also somewhere she often went. A villager said, “Play and play and eventually she ended up living there, becoming their wife/daughter-in-law.” According to their ages, Wen Wen can call Deng Changjiang “uncle”.

“I chose the coat, he gave the money.” Sitting in Deng Changjiang’s kitchen, Wen Wen is wearing a pink coat on top, her two cheeks bright red, and shyly laughed: “He is steady with the motorcycle, and because he lives close by, we can take care of both families.”

Wen Wen and matchmarker Zou Shenglun.

It was through a matchmaker's introduction that Wen Wen and Deng Changjiang established their relationship.

They are already living together, but claim they have not yet held hands

In Wen Wen and Deng Changjiang’s minds, their relationship began when the matchmaker officially went between the two side’s parents. When matchmaker Mr. Zou went to Wen Wen’s home to communicate the other side’s intentions, it was the this year’s rice harvesting season.

“Wen Wen often came to my house to play. At such a young age, she was already able to help with some housework, and is very kind-hearted. I too am not young anymore and want to start a family,” Deng Changjiang said. So, according to custom, he had the Zou Shenglun in the village propose marriage to Wen Wen’s parents.

Soon Wen Wen began living in Deng Changjiang’s home. They said, after moving in, Wen Wen helped the Deng family with the housework, and Deng Changjiang also often helps the Wen family do some work that requires a lot of strength. When the matter of how their relationship developed, they said they haven’t even held each others’ hands, but after shaking their heads, both appeared to be secretly giggling.

Reporter mistaken by Deng family to have come to steal [their son's] wife

Right when this reporter arrived at Deng’s home, a middle-aged man brought out an old lady, the two of them demanding, “What are you guys here for? It is none of your business! If you don’t explain, don’t plan on leaving this valley.”

Only after this reporter explained the reason for coming did they reveal they were Deng Changjiang’s collateral relatives who live in Longju: “We were afraid you were here also to steal [Deng Changjiang's] wife, to cause trouble, and specially rushed here to help.”

Deng Changjiang’s cousin said they need to be on their guard now, that as long as strangers enter the village, the moment they enter the village someone will tell them. “This is why we want to hold the banquet as soon as possible, to tell those matchmakers who want to separate them that she already has a husband she is satisfied with,” Deng Changjiang’s aunt-in-law said.

Deng Changjiang says they plan to hold the banquet at the end of the month together with his mother’s big 70th birthday. “We definitely won’t be able to get a marriage certificate [now], but 3 and a half years later when she is 20, we’ll go get it then.”

Wen Wen helping cook at the Deng family home.

Wen Wen is very hard-working in the Deng home, normally helping with some housework.

Young girl:

He is steady with the motorcycle, and because he lives close by, we can take care of both families

Sitting on Wen Wen’s left hand side, this big brother that will soon “marry” her, is someone Wen Wen has known for a long time. When she ditched school in elementary school, Wen Wen would often go play near Deng Changjiang’s home. After Deng Changjiang bought a motorcycle about 6 years ago, Wen Wen would occasionally take Deng Changjiang’s motorcycle to the town.

“At first, he would charge me money, but later he would sometimes charge and sometimes not charge,” Wen Wen said. She thought the reason Deng Changjiang didn’t charge was because they were neighbors who help each other out, and because of this she sometimes would help the Deng family do some work too in repayment.

“He is steady with the motorcycle.” Wen Wen also doesn’t know whether or not the man before her can bring her a happy life, but she candidly says: “We live close by, can take care of both families, so my mother and old man can feel at ease a bit.”

“Big brother”:

She is a hard-worker, and doesn’t look down on me as being poor

“When a boy and girl grows up, they should marry. I am already almost 35-years-old, and still a single man,” Deng Changjiang himself seems very helpless towards his single status. “Seeing others all go out to make money as laborers, moving out of the impoverished mountain valley, he is not very happy inside.”

“The longer one remains a bachelor, the less girls are willing to come consider you as a marriage partner.” Deng Changjiang believes 30-year-old bachelors in the countryside have it worse than 40-year-old bachelors in the cities. With regards to the girl willing to marry him beside him, Deng Changjiang is extremely satisfied: “Though Wen Wen is like me poorly educated, she is a hard-worker, and the key thing is that she won’t look down on me as being poor. I hope that after we become a family, our circumstances will quickly get better, and we can overcome our hardships.”

Wen Wen in the middle, her father on the left (?), and Deng Changjiang on the right.

It was through a matchmaker's introduction that Deng Changjiang and Wen Wen established their relationship.

Male matchmaker:

Both families are poor, it would be better to unite and help each other.

Fellow villager Zou Shenglun told this reporter that according to local custom, women always take the role of matchmaker, yet Wen Wen and Deng Changjiang’s matchmaker was him, a man, making it difficult for him right from the start too, but he still handled it. Zou Shenglun said that in their impoverished mountain valley, with Deng Changjiang’s family’s poverty so obvious, where could one find a wife willing to marry into his family?! And who would be willing to take on the burden of Wen Wen’s parents’ illness?

“Both families are poor, so it would be better for them to unite into one family to help each other,” Zou Changjiang said. This was the main reason he did all that he could do to match together this marriage, and the parents of both parties have verbally agreed to the engagement. As for the details of the engagement, both the male and female parties as well as the matchmaker are unwilling to speak of.

Girl’s mother: Baby is grown up now, can’t control her anymore

During the interviews, Wen Wen’s father Wen Benfu wasn’t very talkative. He did not clearly indicate whether he supports or is opposed to this marriage. “Off at her husband’s place! Very rarely comes back.” Amongst these few words, he has already regarded the Deng family as Wen Wen’s husband’s family.

Wen Wen’s mother expressed, “My baby is grown up now, has two feet, we can’t control her anymore, just hope she doesn’t suffer any misfortune.”

Deng Changjiang's 70-year-old blind mother.

Deng Changjiang's soon to be 70-year-old mother.

Man’s mother: Good! Good! Extremely good!

Deng Changjiang’s mother will soon be 70-years-old, and even though she can’t see what Wen Wen looks like, she still continuously says, “Extremely well-behaved! Likes to help, very hard-worker!” With regards to her son being able to find a wife, the old lady even more happily says, “Good! Good! Extremely good!”

Women’s Federation:

If they get engaged before she is of age, we will seek to educate and persuade

Director Zhang of the Longju Town’s Women’s Federation said that if the two are having a relationship and both sides are consensual, as long as the female party is 14 years of age, even if they are cohabitating, they are unable to intervene. However because Wen Wen and Deng Changjiang’s marriage involves a minor as the female party, if after an investigation that the engagement is true, they will seek to educate and persuade [against the marriage].

“The People’s Republic of China Minor Protection Law” clearly forbids minors from getting engaged, with article 15 stipulating: The parents or other guardians must not allow or compel a minor to get married, or establish a marriage agreement for the minor.

Article 62 stipulates: If the parents or guardians do not lawfully carry out their responsibilities as guardians, or violate the minor’s lawful rights and interest, other present organizations or resident committees/villagers’ committees shall admonish and intervene; and behavior that constitutes a violation of public security administration shall be lawfully punished by the public security organ.

As a member of this newspaper’s legal counsel, Han Zun Law Firm director and lawyer Shen Rengang explained that from the perspective of the law, minors do not have full civil capacity, so even if they consent to the marriage, it does not have legal effect, while the “Minors Protection Law” forbids parents from arranging marriage for minors.

What can we do for them?

Two poverty-stricken families, one family lacking labor, the other family lacking someone to manage the housework, them rushing to create a [combined] “family”, if only to “unite to help each other”.

If both parties were adults, we would definitely wish them well. But when it involves a 16-year-old young girl’s fate, it becomes an awkward topic.

How do we crack this difficult problem? Of course, we hope the local Women’s Federation’s education and persuasion will eventually be effective, putting off this “wedding banquet” that never should have been held at this time. Simultaneously, we hope everyone will offer some ideas, on how they can emerge from their present difficulties and hardships.

Abridged or excerpted versions of this news story have appeared on China Daily, Tiexue, QQ, and many other websites.

Comments from Tiexue:

若木:

As long as there is warmth [love between the two people, working together making each others lives better], who cares about the age. It’s at least more real than those so-called experts who find girls from their granddaughter’s generation.

03 March 2010

Silence -- A Drama Worth (re)Watching





As a recent reconvert to Asian dramas and movies, I am always looking out for new, and in the case of this review, older titles.

Silence (aired in Taiwan in 2006) is a Taiwanese drama starring the island’s most popular male entertainer, Vic Chou (of the pop band F4 fame), and Korean singer/actress Park Eun-hye (of a recent sex scandal infamy). While I am always leery about singers becoming actors and vice versa, Chou (playing the role of Qi Weiyi) and Park (playing the role of Zhao Shenshen) perform their starring roles movingly and almost flawlessly. Since she does not speak Chinese, Park plays a mute girl who falls in love with Chou's character when the pair, then 12, spent a week together in a hospital ward.

Thirteen years later in 2006, the two young adults become intertwined in a series of interesting coincidences. Not knowing each other’s identity, Shenshen and Weiyi develop a budding romance that becomes even more intense as they painstakingly find out their true identities.

For me, the power of Silence is this unique plotline: Two lonely adolescents meet for one week and become instantly and passionately bonded. One is mute, and they communicate via written notes and hand gestures. Indeed, silence is golden, and in this case, passionately romantic. And even after a separation of 13 years (which is more than a lifetime in an adolescent’s life), both Shenshen and Weiyi would not and cannot love anyone else. There’s something mystically innocent and pure about an adolescent love that is carried into adulthood. How many moving obituaries have we read about so-and-so who returned to marry his high school sweetheart and lived happily for 60 years? In the case of Shenshen and Weiyi, they do not have 60 years as the drama ends with Weiyi’s most “beautiful” death.

The rest of the story is the generic stuff of soap opera. After all, the producers have to come up with 19 hours’ worth of content. What makes the generic branches and twigs of Silence interesting and worth watching is the charisma of Chou and Park.

Certainly, there are parts in the drama where Chou’s acting is a bit weak. He sometimes comes across as stiff and lethargic. But Chou is a talent not to be underestimated. His “singing” scene (singing Cai Qin's forlorn 恰似你的温柔 ["Just like your tenderness"]) as Shenshen is about to (yet) leave him (again) is gut-wrenchingly moving and effective. Let me admit it: I cried.

Some reviewers have said that the ending is particularly sad. Quite to the contrary. Silence’s last episode is one of hope – perhaps too hopeful and idyllic. Qi Weiyi’s mother finds hope in Ah Han and adopts him. Even his hate-filled half-sister experiences a change of heart. And Shenshen accepts Weiyi’s pending death as he dies in her embrace. The stylistic death scene here is particularly evocative and artistically beautiful.

The weakness in the concluding episode lies in the immediacy of Shenshen’s acceptance of Weiyi’s pending death. Throughout the last four or five episodes, everyone, except for Shenshen, knows of Weiyi’s terminal illness. And each goes through a grieving process. Yet, Shenshen discovers Weiyi’s death sentence only a few hours before he succumbs to it. And are we, then, to believe that she instantly accepts the loss of this great love without immense anguish? Perhaps an alternative 19th episode is needed for Shenshen to undergo a grieving process before the “beautiful” death scene in an additional 20th episode.

Silence is a rare gem among Taiwanese dramatic series. I watched this entire drama (19 hours) over the course of two and a half days. If Silence is a precursor of more great Taiwanese dramas to come, then we’re in for a treat!